Will you ever notice me...
10:35 AM
Would you mind if I hurt you?
Understand that I need to
Wish that I had other choices
than to harm the one I love
What have you done now?
I know I'd better stop trying
You know that there's no denying
I won't show mercy on you now
I know I should stop believing
I know that there's no retrieving
It's over now
What have you done?
What have you done now?
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away(what have you done now?)
Why?
Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you
What have you done? (x4)
What have you done now?
What have you done? (x4)
What have you done now?
Would you mind if I killed you?
Would you mind if I tried to cause you have
Turned into my worst enemy
You carry hate that I don't feel
It's over now
What have you done?
What have you done now?
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away(what have you done now?)
Why?
Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you
What have you done? (x4)
What have you done now?
What have you done? (x4)
What have you done now?
I will not fall
Won't let it go
We will be free when it ends
I, I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away(what have you done now?)
Why?
Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you
I've been waiting for someone like you
But now you are slipping away(what have you done now?)
Why?
Why does fate make us suffer?
There's a curse between us
Between me and you
Labels: death, destruction, friends, loneliness, love, lyrics
Will you ever notice me...
9:54 AM
I found it utterfly ironic when someone that you thought that you though would stay with you until the bitter end is actually the first person on the flight out when you have a problem. Whereas the person that you would think would be the last person on earth handing their hand to help you stayed around till you build your fortress and stand again.
Which is the case with me....
A friends that is supposed be someone close to me backstabbed me a few days ago...
I guess I should have seen it coming anyways... all the lies and the deceit just to get people to pity this person, which ... for the sake of simplicity lets name this person X... what X does realize is I am a person that confronts and gather information thoroughly before anything, then i take action.
Strangely though its because of her I found new friends...
Yet another set of episode...
Labels: friends, reflection, update
Will you ever notice me...
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
2:19 PM
He comes in the dead night
Crept up my room
While in my sleep he weeps
While in my wake he takes,
My innocence;Broken and shattered.
He comes in the dead night
Crept up my bed
While in my dreams and he screams
While in my conscious he confuses,
My heart;Battered and bruised.
"Lies here my heart" he promised
*couldnt find the ending to the poem... feels as if it still hanging so will continue it hehe
Labels: loneliness, love, poem
Will you ever notice me...
1:48 PM
How you sing to me, My False Lover
You praise me of my looks divine,
And only that.
But as soon as my beauty fades away
There you go…
Even when I beg you to stay
You left me behind to mend my leaving me astray
How you admire me, My False Lover
You wrap me with you arms; bind
And only that.
As soon as your wants fades away
There you go…
Even when I told you I am in dismay
You left me behind weak, walking around an easy prey
I cried –
I ranted and I wailed –
And then…
I moved on.
Then you came back to me my False Lover
“How I long for you in the cold nights”
My False Lover cries?
Why?
Suddenly needing my words
my caring touch
my everything…
“How I long for you and your looks divine”
My False Lover cries?
Why?
Suddenly needing my everything
My caring touch
My words
I …
Love…
You…
How do you like pain now?
Labels: loneliness, love, poem
Will you ever notice me...
9:55 AM
Now that ever wanting feeling to just switch into the darker side comes in a greater wave, because come to think about it everything would be so easier for me, everything and everything would be just in my grasp and more.
But no~ I have to have a conscience that says its better to suffer for all the things that i have rather to just flip back into Raven again (long story will tell one of these days). But what annoys me more is that when people only hear what I say but dont listen... because for me learning to listen had been a vital part of being mature... well heck for any communication for any level of relationship no matter friends or anything else.
And now I have someone that is supposed to be a friend and yet threatens me... I dont like to get threaten, it is when I am threaten I will break what ever ties that I have and turn evil against the particular person.
So much that unknowingly I would utter a hex and that would be the end of everything.
Dont open the flood gate if you are not ready to die just as yet
Labels: friends, magick, reflection, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Tuesday, October 28, 2008
9:48 AM
Langit begitu gelap
Hujan tak juga reda
Ku harus menyaksikan cintaku
Terenggut tak terselamatkan
Ingin ku ulang hari
Ingin ku perbaiki
Kau sangat ku butuhkan
Beraninya kau pergi dan tak kembali
Dimana letak surga itu
Biar ku gantikan tempat mu dengan ku
Adakah tangga surga itu
Biar ku temukan untuk bersamamu
Ku biarkan senyum ku menari di udara
Biar semua tahuKematian tak mengakhiri
Cinta…
Apalah artinya hidup tanpa kekasihku
Percuma ku ada disini
Labels: loneliness, love, song
Will you ever notice me...
Monday, October 27, 2008
10:39 AM
As anyone could see though am mature, I am very rough around the edges and with the statement "Boys will be boys" I live it wholly because well... I am a boy anyways and there no denying that.
Yes, I may not do soccer and whatnot... but I really do love wrestling (because I love fighting... *sigh people take arts and craft but I take fighting as a hobby*).
So yesterday me and Himself was bored so we thumb wrestled.. Then it got heated and we play who can pin the other to the wall... We played until were tired and sweating with our gang looking at us with amazement.
I guess for me for Boy Love, i get the time where there is the lovey dovey part but I maintain the frisky part because... well... Boys Be
Labels: love, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Saturday, October 25, 2008
10:41 AM
Dont give me Hope
Even a glimmer of it gives me life
As now everything is drained bare
But would it be fair
When I reach out and give my all
In the end you take my life away?
Dont give me Longings
Even a glimmer of it gives me solace
As now everything is nothing
But would it be fair
When I turn around and give my best
In the end you take my solace away?
Above all,
Dont give me Love
Even a glimmer of it gives me peace
As now everything is a wreck
But would be it fair
When I now you have me
In the end you take my peace away?
Labels: loneliness, love, poem, reflection, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Thursday, October 23, 2008
4:15 PM
Tak Pernah Aku Membayangkannya
Bila Insan Sedang Patah Hati
Kali Ini Ku Rasakan Sesungguhnya
Reff:*Siang Hariku Bagaikan Malam
Pelangipun Berwarnakan Kelam
Inikah Yang Dinamakan Patah Hati
**Tak Ingin Kujalani Cinta Yang Begini
Yang Kutahu Cinta Itu Indah
Tak Ingin Kurasakan Jiwa Yang Tak Tenang
Kumau Kau Tetap Disisiku
Back To Reff:* & **
Dan Tak Ingin Kurasakan Jiwa Yang Tak Tenang
Kumau Kau Tetap Disisiku
Siang Hariku Bagaikan MalamPelangipun Berwarnakan Kelam
Labels: loneliness, love, song
Will you ever notice me...
3:36 PM
I know that this post is so me boasting about me but hehe could not help it
Sometime while chatting
Tog: I am proud to have a friend like you *wink*
Adika: Err?
Tog: I went to KB to visit some chatters today and they were talking about you
Adika: Err?
Tog: Yeah... they were talking that you are good looking, I am proud to have a friend that is a celeb
And yes... its not that often that i get praised anywas so am basking it in...
Labels: chat
Will you ever notice me...
2:41 PM
Beh, You want to know how do i love you?
Let the words of the famous Elizabeth Barrett Browning say it for me
How do I love thee? Let me count the ways.
I love thee to the depth and breadth and height
My soul can reach, when feeling out of sight
For the ends of being and ideal grace.
I love thee to the level of every day's
Most quiet need, by sun and candle-light.
I love thee freely, as men strive for right.
I love thee purely, as they turn from praise.
I love thee with the passion put to use
In my old griefs, and with my childhood's faith.
I love thee with a love I seemed to lose
With my lost saints. I love thee with the breath,
Smiles, tears, of all my life; and, if God choose,
I shall but love thee better after death
xoxo hehe
Labels: poem
Will you ever notice me...
8:41 AM
Waking up this morning gives me a somewhat bleak outlook of what today is going to become, I know that being negative is not something I should be doing but really sometimes I do feel down and I do recluse to my own self because its what I naturally do.
I feel angry at the world for some weird reason.
I feel angry at everything and everyone.
But most of all I feel the utmost angry with myself... I felt like this before and its utterly not healthy at all (yes, you think? i heard people say) and this will tire me down, before I know it I would be in hibernation mode whereby I just shut people away, yet again.
I already made myself lost friends...
Save for Himself and somewhat Phoenix, I felt that the world has not and will not forgive me for what I have done.
For that one person... thanks for showing me that you are already dead and I will stop trying to do whatever and just know that its too late to be friends because I am just tired of you.
Yes I did what I did... but on your part... you didnt?
So lets play this game fair and square... We hate each other so be it, I would play my role and you would play yours.
"And he has died, the one with beautiful heart
He has left me here beside of the raging sea"
Labels: boyfrriend, breakdown, brother, ex, snippet
Will you ever notice me...
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
10:08 AM
Its weird when you are suddenly overwhelmed with emotions that you begin to think about the past to a point where it catches on you, takes you by the hand and lead you the the path that you swore to never ever be caught dead in again.
I messaged Armand yesterday I hope to salvage whatever that we had.
It hurts so much I would guess because we had that connection that was so unspoken that we could literally follow each other's thought, so rub salt to the wound is now the fact we are to far apart to even sit on the same room.
I feel sad...
Labels: breakdown, brother, ex, family, reflection, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Tuesday, October 21, 2008
1:35 PM
I guess its a good thing that this blog to some people remains unknown, and yet if they come to discover I would take it as the eventuality of things that is naturally life... *yes I am in that melancholic mood yet again.
And just a snippet...
"I cant always smile you know"
Labels: loneliness, love, snippet
Will you ever notice me...
12:50 PM
When you do...
The things you do to me
To others I feel not special,
That there is nothing
Differentiate me amongst
Others who worships you
When you say...
The things you say to me
To others I feel hurt,
That there is nothing
Differentiate me amongst
Others who adores you
But its when you look at me
I feel utterly grateful
For there is see honesty
and that you truly do love me...
Labels: loneliness, love, poem, reflection, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Monday, October 20, 2008
12:05 PM
About Love
Where do I start?
Some many facets and also situations that I have been and yet I dont understand the logic of love. The such destructive force and yet in its nature builds up people, the paradox that strike a comfortable fear.
Yes not making sense... Which is actually quite bad.
Usually this are the signs when someone has managed to steal my heart wholly and to that person I am dedicated through and through. Its great though, because now i can actually move on from Armand - he was someone special to me but now he just but a chapter that is long gone without me willing.
Okay okay... Actually I want to talk about being appreactive and thankful
Simple and yet powerful these tools of emotions are but some people just seem to forget about it.
It started when Himself the other was talking about Mr. X which stressed him so being Himself feels that he has given so much into the previous relationship, it hurts him more when his voice not heard and all his problems is regards as a small matter By Mr. X
Now having failed two relationship that was stable I know that when communication breaks down that is the hardest level when a relationship is about to be saved, because chances are it cannot be save as two party refuses to compromise.
He says sorry that he is talking about Mr.X to me because now we are together but really sincerely I told him that I would wait more if needed be... now in the rational mind we have to think of how to get about this tricky situation so tha Mr.X would let him go
Sigh...
Oh other weird updates.... it is proven that when you are with someone suddenly you attraction level goes up... randomness i know...
Labels: boyfrriend, ex, love, reflection, relationship
Will you ever notice me...
Friday, October 17, 2008
10:25 AM
Wah~ i just realize that i this blog has been abandoned *sigh*
I know that I shouldnt and i should keep to one blog...
Argh...
Okay okay... update people updates...
What has been going and what has not been going in this wacky mind of mind
[to those who likes to read blogs with pictures i am really sorry because i dont have pictures up just as yet because usually i use my free time in the office to blog hehe and the nights to find stories]
And so~
*Wipes forehead*
What has been happening?
On a sombre note there has been quite a fall out with some of my dearest friend. I know sometimes its inevitable and i do wish sometimes its something that i could avoid.
One dear friend (who in the end is not that dear really when i found out what she did) broke up our friendship because she decides that i have been taking advantage of her and whatnot. I will not say anything to that... I will however will tell the story of how this came about
"Can you help me to drive to KB?" she said,
Basically i know how love can drive you inside so driving to KB is something that i know would be in the list somehow, I said yes.
Batah eh... just the short one... we had an accident because i had a few hours of sleep waiting for of which she said she would help but for 2 meetings with the person that i crashed the car with she went MIA and embarrasingly left me having to deal with the person.
Sigh~ Oh well...
Bah... kan buat quotation ku skajap nie
Labels: friends, love, office, update
Will you ever notice me...
