Here's a story of a girl,
 Living in the lonely world,
 A hidden note, A secret crush,
 A little boy who talks too much.

Well, I'm standing in the crowd,
 And when you smile I check you out,
 But you don't even know my name,
 You're too busy playing games,

And I want you too know,
 If you lose your way,
 I won't let you go.

If I cut my hair,
 If I change my clothes,
 Will you notice me?

If I bite my lip,
 If I say hello,
 Will you notice me?


PROFILEY

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Lyrics of the song "Notice Me" by Zetta Bytes

Friday, December 25, 2009
2:31 PM

Okay with the New Year coming around the corner, I guess it has been a year of discoveries...

Cross that...

It had been two years of discoveries to know really within what is eating within me.

Which is many, i discover that i was not the nicest person that i thought i was anymore, up on my lane is destruction and at some point i believed that if i was bored enough with life... i could just destroy everything and everyone around it because of the boring drama...

Drama... yeah that is one thing that i could never get around to have patience for, i mean you bawl your eyes out because something happen and you become someone that is too caught up in the trauma that you cant do anything else but... cry.

Crying... yes, i discovered that i am not much of crying person also.

I guess i am good at being heartless...

Oh also have come to terms that if people dont like me... that is totally okay just dont mess around with my life, because as 2009 has progressed I have been sending out Karma back to these people... it amazes me though when these people in complete confusion just stop and stared at the sky asking a question why is the bad things happening to them.

So yeah...

I am not entirely okay with the Lambak Group though that one I have to agree...

I am still not okay that they think that just because they are out of reach they are going to be okay to continue to be vicious with their words and put people down.

I know that i am not the vigilante that is actually needed but at least it takes my mind of visualizing certain relatives drowning in the pool of blood coming from the own lungs.

*rereading the post*

wow didnt know that i was being so macabre... sorry tendencies i guess

anyways...

here is to 2010...

Labels:

Will you ever notice me...

Friday, October 9, 2009
11:36 PM

There are a lot of things that people wouldnt understand about me, there are also things that are better stayed hidden from the world so that everything would be more simpler but the fact still does remains...

I am complicated as a person that is for sure.

Let me start from the beginning *i would recommend a big cup of coffee*

Well I was born into a family that was not well off, well actually I dont know because I was too young to remember anything *i was still a few days old from birth* when my dad decided to auction me to the highest bidder to get rid of the debt that has been accumulating *i think that is where i got it from*

And as the story from my mum goes... people from the corners of Sabah and Sarawak came to see me and was smitten by a baby boy that still hasnt been named yet.

But the thing is... I was already been eyed by someone next door who was *okay this is going to be tricky* the wife of my mother's brother, who as the story goes stole me from the clutches of my mother and held me for days on end till mother gave up and i was mum's

I think some of you already get the first where formal words like mother, brother as so on are used to refer to my biological family, if not then it goes to the ones that adopted e.

So i grew up family two family has a strange love and hate feeling towards each other.

I on the other hand didnt care so much about this, I begin to create my own world books and tv are my bestfriend *mum wouldnt let me play with the neighbours kids* and with this english because a language that is almost natural for me *given for the grammar every now and then*

My bros and siss that i grew up with became my natural playmates though there are at times the problem with communication back then.

Me: I want ketchup on my rice please
Big Sis: pour on soy sauce (kicap) on my rice
Me: I dont want this!!!
Big Sis: You told me kicap!!!

So yeah...

there is no many things that I would like to chronicle about my life but maybe one post at time I would guess.

Labels:

Will you ever notice me...

Wednesday, September 9, 2009
11:50 PM

Again just like a self fulfilling prophecy that keeps on going on and about, again i am jobless, again for my friend this would be something the would be less surprising, something that would be me keeping a job.

well again that would be something that i just have to deal with

Now i have to brush myself again... and just like the word of yesterday that rings again in my head that tell me that i only have my looks and my charms.

Damn it... if that is the things that i only have in this world i might as well milk it for all its worth

Labels:

Will you ever notice me...

Thursday, August 20, 2009
3:11 PM

Dont ask much if you cannot do the same.

I would say sorry but you would say, you do it next time... And another ultimatum, another warning yada yada when other seems to take in the fact. My colleague knew me less than a year knows that am forgetful.

You want me to be harsh and take the lee way off on you?

Seems like youre asking that...

And from today that what you'll get.

Will you ever notice me...

2:01 PM

I guess after the course of life i begin to harden my shell because if i dont how will protect me, my parent over time had to gradually get use to wgat i have because... But a pattern they never see is... If the talk civil to me then i would do the same, raie a voice to me then expect no less.

Same with the rest,

I believe in equality, ihave my weakness and i admit to it, am forgetful to a fault but for all its worth my honesty is also to a fault...

But i begin to realize now why bother?

If people want to be pick on the details that i cant help then fine, i didnt want it to come to this but i want a full reset.

An eye for for an eye... I level you my mine.

... And a lie is still a lie no matter how you make it. For the people who does know is lie is a hidden truth... What about a forgotten truth would that be lying too?

Am very logical and i knows an angry mind does not take reasoning so that why when people approach me barbaric asking explanation with the pure intention is not listen but to just put the other person down i dont bother too...

And why should i do so much?

Not like it has been taken to account when we quarrel.

You remember words right asked that the words said should be careful then the principle is put on you.

Remember who said this, if am angry whatever he/she does i wouldnt care.

Am not returning to you any time sooner.

Will you ever notice me...

1:31 AM

I mean what the fuck right?

Home boy told i was chatting in mig33, i bet he is tripping big time cause the number one thing he thinks is am cheating?

What the fuck?

Homie... I dnt okay. Just relax okay, i knw u angry nw bt... Just chill okay?

Scr awak

Will you ever notice me...

Friday, August 14, 2009
12:28 PM

Maybe its me reading too much in the past that now i used symbolism too much and perhaps i should not because its too much open to guesses.

Will you ever notice me...